Megan Ann: This is my blog

Written/Posted Tuesday November 17, 2009

2011-06-15T23:53:00.001-06:00

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2009

Status Update!

Ok, random facebook story....

So today my roommate was going to pick me up on campus after she got off work but she doesn't have a cell phone so we had do coordinate over facebook. She wrote on my wall asking me were she should pick me up. I replied, "I can be at the drop off place under the wilk (the door we use to go to church). Just let me know what time you want me to be there.".

About 15 minutes later I got an email notification saying my friend Walker had commented on my status. His comment was "Why did you post this as you status? Weirdo.". Sure enough, I looked and instead of writing on my friend's wall I had some how accidentally posted my message to her as my status update. End result--

MeganRogers: I can be at the drop off place under the wilk (the door we use to go to church). Just let me know what time you want me to be there.

I got several other comments such as, "is that some kind of a pick up line for anyone who is willing to listen?".

Yeah, pretty funny and kind of embarrassing. Pretty sure my weird facebook status will be everyone's mini-feed.

Written/Posted September 29, 2009

2011-06-15T23:49:00.002-06:00

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2009

What to write about/ Tribute to random girl sitting across the table

So I've been sitting in the No shhh Zone of the library trying to figure out what the heck I could blog about. Sitting....sitting....sitting.....thinking....thinking...thinking......

I still can't think of anything media related to blog about (well, I can think of a couple ideas but they would take more time to write about than I have) but I've decided I am going to blog about the hilarity of what is taking place before my very eyes right this moment.

Ok, so across the table from me at the No Shhh Zone is this girl working on a computer. About two seconds ago this random guy comes up to her from out of no where and totally out of the blue. He took a seat next to her and is sitting uncomfortably close. It is clear that she has NO idea who this guys is and is really curios to see why the heck he is talking to her...especially so timidly.

Ok, the guy is awkward as all get out (....bless his heart). He just began telling her that he's seen her a lot around here. She then gave him a really uncomfortable look like "where did you come from and why are you talking to me?" Then she came up with some type of adequate response like, "well, I do work here a lot..."

Oh boy, this is painful to watch.....

.......Really, this is so uncomfortable.

Ok, so here's some of the convo....

Boy: "My name is _____"

Girl: "oh, I'm _______"

::::::SILENCE::::::::::

Boy: "yeah, so I've seen you a lot around and recognize you from seeing you so much"

[Girl is looking mega awkward and slightly creeped out...I don't think she knows what to say]

Girl: "ummm....yeah, i don't remember you, ummm....but...uh...ummmm... it's nice to meet you?"

[Guy is displaying looks of pain...and doubt concerning what to do next....]

Ok, he's starting more small talk......

....still awkward.....

.....Girl makes a polite half/hearted response and turns between statements to keep working on her paper (P.S. Guys-this is a bad sign.....by periodically turning as if to continue on with her homework, this girl is sending a signal of "i've got better and much less awkward things to do right now...please go away." Unfortunately, no sign of hint being taken).

Yeah, poor guy. This is just not working.

::::::Awkward Silence::::::No good signals from girl::::::::

......Oh my HOLY awkward!.....

Ok, the boy is awkwardly saying bye and going back to his seat across from the No shhhh Zone.

yeah, no sign of other friends at table or dare/bet potential....just true, pure awkwardness.

Well, congratulations random girl across the table, You made it onto my blog!

OK....so the media:

I often study in the No Shhhh Zone. This is mostly due to the many computers that are here. A lot of times I dont' really even need a computer, I just like being on one while I do homework so I can access various forms entertainment such as music, facebook, etc. I am thinking, however, that the real entertainment lies not in the media but simply in the awkward real life interactions that take place in such abundance here in the No Shhhh Zone. In fact, maybe I should just start a whole new blog entirely dedicated to my time here and the wildly entertaining things I observe, experience, and witness (like the one time i fell asleep and got woken up by a complete stranger! yeah, it was awkward).

Written/posted Wednesday October 14, 2009

2011-06-15T23:47:00.001-06:00

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2009

I miss it....

Ok, So I meant to write about this a way long time ago, but oh well...at least I'm finally doing it. (WARNING: This post consists mostly of me reminiscing about the past and venting. As a result, it will probably be really long and boring, so I apologize.)

So I LOVED our lecture on books and literature! LOVED it! I think doing our books assignment and then talking about books in class just helped me to remember how much I love to read and how much I miss it. It's so sad to think about the fact that I hardly ever read anymore...except for text books and research articles, that is.

Growing up, I REALLY LOVED TO READ. My mom didn't really allow us to have video games in the house (maybe I'll have to write a blog post about that some time)and she encouraged us not to watch much TV...as a result, we did a lot of reading.

As stated in my last post, I mostly read Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott books. I've always been kind of a night owl and it was even worse as a teenager. I'm also not really the type of person who likes to read a chapter here, a chapter there. When I read something, I like to sit down and read it in one sitting (another reason why I don't read as much now). So when reading a book, it usually consisted of me going up into my room, ignoring the world for a a day or two and getting no sleep.

I remember one time specifically, I had started a book one day and had been reading it without stop. That night I was laying in bed with my lamp on and my mom came in to say good night. Our family had to wake up the next morning at 6am to leave for our ward camping trip. As my mom told me good night, she warned me that if she came in to wake me up at 6am and i was still reading she was gonna be ticked and I would be in big trouble. I read and read. The only break I took was at approximately 3:45am when I went to the bathroom to get some tissue. My favorite character had died and I was sobbing (probably one of the only times in high school I cried over a book or a movie...I'm not a big crier). Then I remember I was reading and all of a sudden I heard a noise coming from my mom's bedroom door. I looked at the clock and it was 6am. I threw the book under my pillow, turned off my lamp, and pretended to be asleep. My mom came in and "woke me up", thinking I had been asleep the whole night. As soon as she left the room I finished the last couple pages of the book and then got up and got ready for our camping trip. To this day, she still doesn't know. haha.

This type of behavior was pretty typical of me as an adolescent. When reading a book that I loved, I would usually read all day long until it was bed time. Then I'd quickly get ready for bed and set my alarm for early morning seminary, after which I'd stay up and continue reading all night under the light of my nightstand lamp until my alarm would go off. I'd turn off the alarm and read for a couple more minutes until I had to leave for seminary. After seminary, I'd race home, hop into bed, and keep reading until I had to get out for school. After school was done, I'd continue reading, taking only occasional bathroom breaks, until the book was finished. Sigh. Oh those were the days.

Reading was also a big part of Christmas tradition for me and my older sister, Alisa. On Christmas eve, my sister and I would wait until everyone else went to bed. Then we'd get a stack of books, go into our room and stay up as long as we could reading a favorite book. It was way fun and totally bonded us.

I miss it. I miss being young and having almost zero real responsibilities (except maybe school, which wasn't very hard). I miss having the free time to actually enjoy the fall and winter season, curled up and completely sucked into a good book. (Dude, I really miss being less stressed.)

Well, life today definitely has more responsibilities. You can't just stay home and ignore the world for an entire day at a time. School is a little bit more challenging and time consuming...and you have to worry about making money to pay the bills as well as fulfill callings where people are dependent on you. And you all of a sudden have an abundance of these things called "meetings". Dang, when did that happen? I hate meetings. But despite all these "grown-up" things we have to deal with, despite the incredible amount of stress and time commitments life has no problem barfing on us, I've decided I want to make time to read. I want to go back to that comfort of laying in bed on a rainy day and getting swept away in an awesome story or having some major food for thought. And Today, I dedicate myself to making time for it...even if it's not that much time. Instead of wasting my time watching some dumb episode of "E! True Holly Wood Story" I've already seen a hundred times, or just taking forever to get off the couch because I'm tired, I'm going to go upstairs and read a book! Because, gosh dang it, I miss it!

Written/Posted Monday October 5 2009

2011-06-15T23:40:00.002-06:00

[This post was written in October 2009 for an assignment I had to write about my favorite book growing up]

An Old-Fashioned Girl

Growing up I loved to read and had lots of favorite books. Most of them were the classics written by Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott. Although I had lots of favorites, probably my two most favorite were Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and An Old-Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott. Today, they continue to be my two favorite books, although some of the reasons why I like them have changed over the years as I’ve become older.

Because so many people are familiar with Pride and Prejudice, I am going to focus this assignment on An Old-Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott. An Old-Fashioned Girl is the story of young Polly Milton, a girl who was raised by a poor, conservative family in the country. Polly goes to live for a while with her good friend, Fanny, and her family who are extremely wealthy and live in the city. The first half of this book is about her visit and the culture shock that takes place as she is introduced to “city-life” and some of the shallow values that exist there. Polly, however, is able to be a good influence on Fanny and her family…including Fanny’s older brother, Tom. She teaches them to remember the important things in life and endears herself to the whole family before returning home.

The second half of the book takes place six years later when Polly returns, all grown up, to make her living in the city as a music teacher. Polly once again finds herself conflicted between what the modern and worldly voices of high society are telling her and the “old-fashioned” ways and values she was raised with. As she is acquainted with some of the harsh realities of life, she must also navigate her way through a love triangle and learn to stand up for what she believes in.

Growing up, I loved this book mostly because it was a fun story about a girl who grows up and falls in love. It was mostly just the fact that I was a dorky twelve year old girl who liked fun romantic plots and loved books from this time period. Although I still love this book for some of those same reasons in addition to the sentimental value it now holds, as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized how profound the book really is. As I’ve matured, I’ve realized that although the book takes place in the 1800s, so many of the themes and social commentary still apply to modern day life. In this simple story, Louisa May Alcott addresses the influence of worldly materialistic values including the ridiculousness of fashion and how it often forces girls to begin losing their innocence and grow up to fast, how the world teaches us to waste our time on cheap quality novels instead of enriching literature, and that there is really nothing “fashionable” about being a teasing flirt instead of being honest and respecting of people’s feelings.

Overall, the profound message that this book has impressed upon me while I’ve grown up is that, although over a hundred years has gone by and technology and fashion have changed quite a bit, the world still works in consistent materialistic and shallow patterns…whether it is huge frilly ball gowns and "scandalous plays" or skinny jeans and MTV.

my old media blog

2011-06-15T23:35:00.002-06:00

My last semester at BYU I took this really great class all about media and how it affects the family and human development. As part of the class we were required to keep a blog (meganmedia.blogspot.com) and do writing assignments about various topics and forms of media. Anyway, So i'd totally forgotten about this blog until today when I found it and started reading through some of my old posts/writing assignments. They're nothing too exciting but I think I'm going to repost some of them on here. So the next couple posts might be really old and random.

That's all!

-M

haha, i thought this was pretty funny.

2011-06-12T16:06:00.001-06:00

best pillow cases ever.

2011-06-08T21:52:00.005-06:00

Haha, I love this! I seriously want these someday.

I think I might die.

2011-06-08T21:44:00.003-06:00

OK, So I saw this video yesterday on facebook and seriously started freaking out. I have now lived the past 24 hours in fear that I am dying from skin cancer.

But me freaking out aside, it's actually a super good video/public service announcement and I think a good reminder for all of us. But yeah, you can imagine I was very nervous, especially after getting this little beauty of a burn two weeks ago in CA....

Adele - Someone Like You (Live in Her Home)

2011-06-08T21:34:00.002-06:00

So, I've been somewhat obsessed with this song lately. I know a lot of people aren't really huge fans of Adele, but I just think this song is totally gorgeous. I seriously listen to it all the time.

the trouble of audience.

2011-06-08T18:57:00.003-06:00

Holy Cow, I haven't written on here in forever. I'll admit, I pretty much abandoned the idea of any type of blogging after a plethora of failed attempts. But for whatever reason I felt like writing on here today, so here I am.

I'm not really sure why it is that blogging is so hard for me. I think part of it is my perfectionist tendencies but I also think a large portion of my difficulty is due to the fact that I'm not really sure who my audience is when I get on here or what audience I should be attempting to write to. I think that attributes a lot to my freezing up. When I'm writing a formal paper, a letter, a talk for church, or in my journal, "freezing up" is definitely the last thing that happens. I think usually the only difficulty I have is getting my hands to physically move fast enough to actually write everything my brain is thinking. But in all those situations I know who my specific audience is. Well, except for maybe my journal...

Someone asked me once who my audience is when I'm writing in my journal. Do I write as if I'm writing to myself, my future children, some imaginary person, the literal notebook that I'm writing in, or as if it would be published to the general public? I've actually thought about it quite a bit and still haven't really been able to determine who it is I'm writing to. I think maybe a mixture.

I write as open and honestly as if I were just writing it to myself and no one else would ever read it.

Some times I put in little plugs or notes to my future posterity...and I can think of maybe once or twice that I edited myself or wrote in such a way as to leave something out or phrase something differently because I thought "I don't know if I want my future children to read that..."

Even though I am only writing for myself, I wonder if subconsciously I have some other audience in mind because I definitely describe and explain things in such detail and depth that would never be necessary if the journal was only intended for me. For example, I think I write sometimes as if I am telling a story. I'll set up and describe the "scene" so someone who wasn't there would know exactly what was going on. Also, instead of just mentioning someone in my journal I'll always explain or reference who they are, how I know them, what they're like, etc.... almost as if I'm introducing a new "character". Again, I don't do this consciously at all. I think for some reason I just write so that if some stranger were to come and pick up my journal they would, out of context, still be able to get exactly what was going on.

Then, there are also some of my journal entries that are more like essays about random topics and thoughts that I've had. These are written in such a way that they each could probably be read easy to the general public and not seem like a journal entry at all. So maybe I'm just all over the place. Either way, it works. Even though I can't really articulate who my audience is when I write in my journal, all I know is when I sit to write it all comes pouring out like crazy. Or maybe I am able to write so much because of the complete absence of an audience. Just my brain on paper.

Anyway, back to my original thought (I get distracted easily). I think I struggle with writing on my blog because I don't really know who my audience is...which I probably wouldn't care about except for the fact that I know that actual human beings will be reading it somewhere. I mean, what the heck is this?

Is this a casual update on my life that I send out just like I would a family email or yearly Christmas card? It is a venue to write my most intimate thoughts or another form of a journal that I just so happen to click "publish" afterward? Is it just a place to make public service announcements? Or should I only post when I have some thing really awesome I've done or made that exhibits the great life skills I've acquired (such as crafting, cooking, and other various forms of homemaking)?

Am I writing only to the whopping 9 people who actually follow this blog or am I writing to the universal public as a whole?

Maybe it's a little of all those things. But I definitely think I find my lack of direction crippling. So in the absence of any direction, I think I am going to spend the rest of the evening publishing a variety of different kinds of posts just for fun. :)

I write for myself

2010-09-01T02:24:00.002-06:00

So, hello world. I just wanted to put a random post out there...

I suck at blogging. but that's ok. I realized something tonight...I write for myself. As much as blogging in theory appeals to me, the truth really is just that I suck at blogging. That's it. The end. But I'll have you know I'm still writing. I used up an entire journal just from the end of april to the end of july. It was ridiculous. And I still write on my private blog/online journal. For example tonight I sat down just to jot down a couple random thoughts streaming through my brain... As soon as my fingers hit the keys I didn't stop typing until I had fully exhausted all words that fully illustrated my thoughts. It didn't take very long, probably only a matter of minutes. It was just one quick continuous motion until I was done. As soon as I felt it was complete, I stopped, looked back and found myself finished there 1418 words later. I can write. I write a lot. But it just doesn't work when I do it or post it for someone else. I just write for myself. And I think I am okay with that. This is also why I think things like facebook status updates really are perfect for me and really much more up my alley--just a word, phrase, or sentence that summarizes a feeling, thought, or experience I'm having or going through. That's about all I like to get out there usually (as much as I think that I'd like bearing my soul to the world).

But I will say this-- I think I'm on the road to self-discovery...and right now i think it's going to be an interesting road.

Simple Life

2010-07-20T18:19:00.003-06:00

"And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life"

..."Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life"

-No Doubt

2010-06-30T20:44:00.003-06:00

Shades

2010-06-29T01:59:00.011-06:00

Just in case you weren't aware, Sunday was National Sunglass Day. My roommates definitely celebrated by pulling out some of our best shades. Here is my tribute to this stylin' holiday.

Fathers Day

2010-06-21T00:50:00.011-06:00

So I know this is a little late but considering I had to work a 16 and a half hour shift at work today, I figure it's ok...

Seeing as today was Fathers Day, I just wanted to give a shout out to the best guy I know...my dad! My dad is seriously amazing. It's funny, growing up I always loved my dad but I don't think I fully appreciated him. Turning into an adult is an interesting experience because you really do get a change of perspective and finally get a little more understanding and insight into your parents. It's really cool to finally GET them a little better and realize everything they ever did for you. This has totally happened to me in regard to my Dad. Over the past couple years I've just really come to see how amazing he really is and everything he did for me and my family. It's also a very crazy thing to realize as you get older how much you compare other people to him...especially potential dating prospects. Weird.

Well, my dad is amazing for many reasons but I'd just like to bring up a few of them tonight...

First off, out of all the things my dad did one of the first things that stands out to me is what an amazing example he always was. My mom was pretty dang skilled in the parenting department and the everyday interactions with kids...I always kind of felt like my mom did most the direct teaching and communicating, but I've realized as an adult what a huge impact my dad really did have on us kids. My dad's role really was to be the ultimate example. My dad showed us how to be a good person and a good Latter-Day Saint.

I think both me and my siblings have set a high standard for how we want to live our lives and its mostly because of how my dad lives his. My dad always looked for and accepted any opportunities to serve and he never complained. My dad never missed a church meeting no matter how early, how long, or how inconvenient. If there was some place my dad ought to be, he was there. End of story. He's just the type of guy who is always where he's supposed to be, doing what he's supposed to be doing. My dad always does his home teaching...even if the family hasn't been to church in years. I also cannot tell you the countless times my dad would leave early for church so he could give someone like an old lady a ride. My dad saturated his life with service and as a result has blessed way more lives than just me and my family. My dad never told us how to be a good person or a good latter-day saint...he showed us.

My dad is also an incredibly friendly guy. He's the type of guy who knows everyone on our block and talks to them on a regular basis. He's the type of guy who waves to strangers and talks to random people in the grocery store. Although this was very embarrassing to me as a young adolescent, it's one of my favorite things about my dad now. He is always willing be a friend to anyone in need and does so cheerfully and willingly.

My dad never thinks about himself (...some times to a fault if you ask me). My dad is always focused on others and interested in them and their lives. He always is thinking about what he can do to help other people and make their life a little easier. He's a great listener too. My dad is super easy going and positive. Granted, when he's in a bad mood he can be intimidating as heck....but it just doesn't happen very often. My dad is overall pretty difficult to get upset.

Another major thing about my dad--he was a great provider for our family. My dad decided early on that both education and hard work were important to him and that he wanted to be able to provide for his family...and he did. My dad has always done whatever he can to make sure his family is happy, comfortable, and taken care of. It is because of his hard work that we had most of the opportunities that we had.

Perhaps my absolute favorite thing about my dad...and even greater than all the rest....is that he loved my mom. My dad loved my mom and respected my mom. Although they've had their fair share of frustrations and disagreements, I've never heard my dad speak ill or disrespectfully of my mom. I've never heard him raise his voice at her either. In my whole entire life, I never had to once doubt whether or not my dad loved my mom that he thought the world of her. That, I think, was the greatest gift I could have had as a kid. My dad's focus was always on making my mom's dreams come true, however crazy and random they were. It was always clear that my dad thought my mom was amazing. It's funny...whenever my dad gives me a compliment or acknowledges that I have a "gift" for something he always adds on..."you know, you got that gift from you mom" or "you really inherited or learned that from your mom...she's amazing at such and such". It's obvious he thinks she is the bomb diggity.

So even though my Dad isn't perfect and he's definitely pretty dang quirky, I just want to say thanks. Thanks Dad for being amazing and just in generally such a genuinely good guy. You mean the world to me!

Love, Meg....or as you'd say, "Megan Ann".

(P.S. I apologize if my writing in this post is all over the place, incorrect, or hard to follow. Unfortunately work has made me too tired and brain dead to write well or care enough to proof read and correct anything tonight. )

Below are just some pics of me and my Dad over the years. :)

My dad and all 11 lbs 2 oz of me. Dang, I was an attractive new born. haha, not.

I was such a Daddy's girl...I would always go running for the door when my Dad would walk in from work at the end of the day.

I'm not sure if Dad was helping me open my present or I was helping him open his...

Going out on the lake with Dad. :)

Wow, his baby girl is graduated from college. What an old man. haha.

A Lot About Hair

2010-02-23T15:02:00.001-07:00

So I've been slightly obsessed with the idea of blonde hair lately. I think this is for a couple reasons. One-- I associate blonde with summer and the glorious sun that I have been missing for so long now. Two--I'm really bored with my life and especially my hair. I do have to say that I'm a little less bored than I was a couple weeks ago because I went out and got my hair cut. But still...dying your hair is a really easy way to mix things up a little.

Whenever I brought up the idea of potentially going blonde, however, I always got such a huge reaction from friends. I had no idea people felt so strongly against the idea of me as a blonde. Well, rest assured, friends. I don't plan on ever actually following through and going blonde in the near future. However, I am going to take this blog post to entertain the idea and have a little fun.

First off, Although my hair got pretty dark by the end of high school and even darker during college, I was actually pretty blonde-ish as a kid and I some times miss it. Here are a couple pictures from my childhood...

These aren't the cutest pictures of me as a kid...in fact, many of them are very unflattering, but I simply picked them to show the blonde-ness. I never was super blonde or anything, just sort of a dirty-blonde.

Hahahaha.....so you can probably tell that I totally cropped this one. As much as I'm sure everyone wanted to see me standing in my favorite pair of bright turquoise Little Mermaid underwear, I thought it might be better to leave it out. That might just be a little more embarrassment that I want in one day. Like I said, these aren't really great photos. As you can tell, I didn't comb my hair much as a kid. My family used to call me "Little Orphan Annie" because I looked like a crazy homeless kid.

Ok, this one I really almost didn't put up. It is ridiculously embarrassing to me. I really try to stay as far away as possible from awkward pre-adolescent pictures. oh gosh. Even now I m embarrassed. But it's ok. I'm doing this for the sake of the hair. Even as I went into my very early elevenzies and teen years my hair was pretty blonde-ish although definitely a little bit darker. I may come back and delete this picture later.

(I did end up deleting the picture....that's why it's no longer above).

So just for the fun of it, I went to this really fun website where you can do virtual makeovers on yourself did a little experiment to see myself today as a blonde. Here are some of the results. Haha....

Obviously this is virtual hair and looks a lot more blonde and crazy than actual hair would. If I actually did ever dye my hair it would be more of a light brown or dirty blonde. I was googled some dirty-blonde haired celebrities and here are a couple that I like.

Ok, I know I will never be as hot as her...but I just really love her hair color. What do you think? It's not TOO blonde?

I thought this was a pretty natural looking color. Just more of a really "light brown" with highlights versus BRIGHT blonde.

Well, there you have it, my obsession with blonde hair. And again, no worries...I'm not actually planning on doing it. I just like to entertain thoughts of it.

So, just to finish up this blog post, here is a picture from Summer 2008 back when I used to dye my hair really dark.

....And here is a picture from December with my current natural hair color (without any dye).

Me as a blonde or a brunette?....you can decide what you like. But hey, it could be a fun summer look. ;)

February 22, 2010

2010-02-23T13:41:00.000-07:00

Ok World, I'm trying to be better. I've decided I've got to make some changes in my life. The past couple weeks I've been feeling...well, pretty dang miserable. It seemed like I just hated everything about my life...or lack thereof. I didn't like this weird stage of life, I hated my job, I was tired of everything and didn't know what I was doing or where I was going. Well, I've been thinking a lot lately...and church yesterday helped me a lot too. I've realized, yes, I was miserable...but it was partially my fault. I chose to accept being miserable and fully took on that state of being without any hesitation. In fact, the only answer I've given to people in the past two weeks when they ask me how I'm doing is to willingly spout about how miserable my life is. Well, I'm making new choices. The church meetings yesterday were almost entirely about attitude and agency...two things I have not been taking full advantage of. The fact is, you choose to be happy. Really. Happiness is a choice. I've always believed that. I'm just not quite sure why it is that I suck at it so much.

Yeah, it's true...my life is a little boring right now. It's true...my job isn't ideal or a job that I even particularly like. And yeah, it's true...I have a total lack of closure in my life and have no idea
where i'm going and just know that I'm definitely not where I want to be. But so what? Who cares? I choose to let myself be miserable. The fact is....IT IS WHAT IT IS. And I can hate every single day of it or I can make the best of it and do what I can with what I've been given. I can have a little faith...and by faith, I mean action. I can do my part instead of just desperately praying for things to freakin change already and be different. I can find the positive in the situation I am in and take advantage of it. And I could definitely become a little less self-obsessed. My life really isn't that bad compared to 50% of the population...and believe me, I know because I have to freaking talk to them all day long at work.

So this is it. I'm going to love my life. I'm going to make every day count. I'm going to change my attitude. I'm going to do things I love...and LOVE doing it. I'm going to embrace my job and do the best I can. Granted, I'm still going to work to change my situation as much as is in my control...but in the mean time, I'm going to be ok.

OK...So PLAN OF ACTION....some immediate problems, solutions, and changes:

-Get back on track with scripture study. I was doing so good but lately I've just really gotten behind. START READING 5 PAGES A DAY AGAIN--and schedule two times periods for about an hour just to read and get caught back up.

-MAKE PRAYERS MORE MEANINGFUL! I need to take time out of my day to have better prayers. If I can't take the time and thought out for heavenly father, why should I expect him to do the same?

-GO TO THE TEMPLE! Lately I haven't been going to the temple very often because I've been so exhausted after work. The thought of going up and the thought of how late it will be when I get home always turns me off. Well, the fact is that I need to do it anyway. I need to have faith that it will contribute and energize my life more than it will draw from it.

-BE TIDY. On Sunday I cleaned my room and it was AWESOME. It's so much easier to wake up in the morning to a clean room. Plus, I think having things be neater would help my spirituality as well as my mood. I also think it will help me have an easier time getting to my hobbies and the things that will make me happier.

FRIENDS. What more can I say? I need to spend more time with them. I need to spend more time making them. I need to spend more time appreciating them. I need to spend more time serving them. I think pretty much all joy in life comes from or through other people. Obvious solution to making my life less miserable.

COOKING/ EATING HEALTHY. You always feel better when you're eating healthy. It's just a fact. And I am sick of freakin fast food for lunch. I need to cook in advance so I save money and calories....which sorta brings me to my next one....

BUDGET!!!!! Ok....it's nice that I now have this consistent pay check and no school expenses and all...but I really need to conquer this one. I realize that although it's fun to indulge a little here and there....spending is an urge that will never be satisfied. Start saving for something worth while...it will make me feel a lot better.

EXERCISE!!!! Another obvious way to increase the happiness in my life. Exercise gives you endorphins....Endorphins make you happy....Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. Ok sorry....Legally Blonde reference (I couldn't help myself). I'm always tired all the time but I'd probably be a lot less tired if I were getting out and moving around more. I think that's actually also a proven FACT.

So how's that for a list? Yup...there ya are. Life changes and improvements I'm determined to make. Let's just hope I do ok.

Oh, and for another random life update...I think I've finally overcome the Diet Pepsi machine at work. It's been over a week since I've indulged in a caffeinated beverage! Woot Woot! Haha Soda Fountain, TAKE THAT!

Oh and I found out I am presenting at a research conference a few weeks. Kinda cool. Mostly kinda stressful

February 17, 2010

2010-02-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, This is going to have to be mega fast because I have to take a short lunch today and I still need to call campus scheduling as a favor for my sister Lindsay.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

This stage of life...or lack thereof...really is kinda sucky. But my new goal is to try and complain less. So just in case you were confused, today my purpose is not to complain. I'm trying to stay hopeful, I just really hope that something great happens soon. I could really use that. I've never really realized how hard it is to be patient. It's really hard not understanding things and not knowing the future. Closure in my friend.

Man, I want to be awesome. No, really. Do you ever have that feeling? The desire that you could just be this really cool person and do all things awesome things? I just wish I had enough time to make it happen. I feel like all my time and energy goes into work and then I have nothing left.

I need a summer vacation.

February 4, 2010

2010-02-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hmmm....today, today, today. What should I say?

Work?- it's going ok. The computer in the lunch room is ridiculously slow and I've decided it's a royal pain in the butt. Last night I totally gave up on packing a lunch. I was so busy and exhausted that I officially decided I was going out for lunch this afternoon. Wendy's, here I come. The only problem with that is it takes up all my lunch break time. blah.

Account of Today's Goals:

Healthy/packed lunch--eh, somewhat healthy? I did get a salad. Still a waste of money. NO check.

Read 5 pages of BOM--I read a page and a half, does that count?? NO CHECK.

Write in blog----I only have 3 minutes left of my break and so yeah, won't really be writing much other than this. 1/2 check?

Drink less Diet Pepsi--- The soda fountain is broken at work today. CHECK!!! It still surprises me sometimes how hard it can be to differentiate between whether something should be labeled as divine intervention or just a royal pain in the butt. Hmmm...Probably divine intervention. Perhaps I should take a hint.

February 3, 2010

2010-02-22T23:08:00.000-07:00

Wow. It's been a long time since I've written in my blog. Pretty pathetic, I know. To my credit, however, I would like to say that all of last semester I wrote in a blog required for my media class. The entries are all about the media...so not as entertaining, but hey....it's something. Also, My goal to write more wasn't a complete flop because I started writing some stuff in a private blog (AKA: my online journal that I do through blogger.com). That, however, isn't visible to the public. I find that I have a much harder time writing if I know there is a possibility of someone reading it. Lame, i know. It really is too bad, because as soon as I start writing in my private blog, it all spills out and I'll have about 1400 words written in about 20 minutes. The entries aren't profound. Just random and personal. I may post segments of the on here sometime.

So I've decided I need to start blogging on my lunch break. This brings me to my first blog topic. I got a job. Yes. A Job. A full-time, 40-hr-per-week, job. It's official. I'm done with college. I even got my diploma in the mail the other week. Weird.

Anyway, I'm working at a law firm called Myler Disability. Pretty much I just talk on the phone with clients and help them fill out an application to receive social security. Thrilling, I know.

Back to lunch break. I'm pretty proud of myself for cooking and packing a lunch almost every day. I'm hoping that through this I cannot only eat healthier but also save a bunch of moola. Especially considering that the majority of my money used to go to food expenses. But now I'm a changed woman....I hope.

I'm also very proud of myself because I've spent most of my lunch break reading the scriptures. My roommate and I made a goal to read the Book of Mormon from start to finish this semester. This requires reading a minimum of 5 pages per day. So that and eating takes up the rest of my lunch break, but I've decided I need to use the last 20-30 minutes of my break to write. Not writing on people's wall's on facebook...but really writing. I need to start documenting my life. So hopefully you'll start hearing from me more often. I probably won't be able to finish my entries before my lunch break is over, so most of the actual posts will probably be completed and published in the evening after work.

Goals for Lunch Break:

Healthy Meal

5 pages of BOM

BLOG entry/thought for the day.

(Hooray! Productivity!)

I'm hoping that along with my 8 hours of work per day, I'll have most of my productive to-do items crossed off my list before i even come home at 5. That would be awesome.

At Home Goals:

READ MORE (cool books). Get an education. Get an imagination.

CRAFTS/PROJECTS/HOBBIES.

Service.

I should put exercise up there. But I'm still feeling a little daunted by that one. I'm pretty dang tired all the time. Hopefully soon it will be on that list.

OOOO! One more.

GO TO BED EARLY!

yessssss.....sleeeeeeeeep! it's funny how sleep becomes one of the most valuable and favorite things to you when you begin working 40 hours a week.

Ok, status update: lunchbreak is over. I gotta run. BYE.

...but one more to-do item!.....DRINK LESS PEPSI! I swear, this free soda fountain at work is going to be the death of me....and my bladder.

She's baaaaaack!

2010-02-22T22:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Everyone Out There,

As you can see it has been forever since I've posted on this here blog...but as of now, I am repenting. Throughout the past couple months I've written blog posts that I never actually got around to posting as well as entries in my online journal. As a result, I'll now be back tracking and posting some of those things over the next little while. So just as a head's up, I'll most likely just put the date the entry was written as the title for the post that way you have some sort of idea of when it took place...but to be honest, I can't really guarantee they'll be in chronological order. I may just randomly post little segments from my online journal whenever it suits my fancy or I feel the inclination

Well, here goes a lot of catching up and a lot of random non-orderly posts. Cheers!

Sincerely,
your long lost blogger--Megan

Photography Outings

2009-09-20T00:58:00.000-06:00

So something I've always loved is pictures. I LOVE them. I like looking at them, i like taking them, I like posing with friends for them. Seriously...I hate to admit it, but I picture stalk people on facebook fairly regularly. Almost daily I will look at the new/updated photo album page and look through people's pictures...not because I'm weirdy, just because I really do love pictures so much (ok, so maybe I'm kind of a weirdy). Anyway...so I thought I'd post some of the pictures I've taken this year/summer. Enjoy!

Oh, I love you so much...you keep me young!

2009-09-07T20:42:00.000-06:00

(Note: This is an entry I wrote earlier this week while I was staying at my sister's house in Oregon. haha...I'm finally getting around to posting it.)

This blog post is a tribute to one of my closest friends, Siovhan Bolton, because....well, she's pretty much the bomb dot com.

So this last Thursday morning I flew into Portland because my nephew Jared was getting baptized which meant I got to spend a couple of days with my Shavonny. We only get to see each other a few times a year now that she lives in Eugene, so this was pretty exciting stuff. Hangin' with her was tons of fun and reminded me of the many, many reasons why I freakin love her guts. In this post, I would like to highlight just a few of those things.

Pretty much, I want to BE siovhan. One reason, is her extreme craftiness and creativity. It's amazing. I swear, everything she touches looks cuter. I especially love her room. It looks awesome. One of my favorite things in her room was a wall hanging she made. She bought wooden letters at a craft store and did decoupage on the front of them. Afterward, she attached colored ribbon and spelled out "Live, laugh, love" (her personal motto) on her wall. Do not be surprised if you find me doing the same thing in the near future.

Another thing that looks significantly cuter because of her is my blog. Siovhan is my blogging goddess and totally did a makeover on my blog, showing me many a trick and tip. A combination of the wonders she worked on my blog and the amazing blog she keeps herself has inspired me to actually start writing on my blog regularly. And her blog really is amazing.

During my visit, we did what we normally do...chill, long Wal-mart runs, and random crafts. We decided to celebrate the fact that we were in Eugene, OR (aka: hippie-ville) and do some tie-dye and ended up making some rad shirts.

This last one on top makes an excellent family photo.

We also got some neon colored puff paint and made some best friend backpacks. They may have been more fun to make than they were actually good looking...but hey, when you're wearing tie-dye, you gotta celebrate love and friendship.

This is Siovhan getting ready to start on her backpack:

This was the first stage of the backpack painting process. We later pulled a Jackson Pollock and splattered neon paint all over them. It was a little messy and muy fabuloso.

What did we do for the rest of our visit? Well, to the outside world it may look like not much and definitely nothing exciting, but we pretty much just spent time loving the fact that we were in the same room, let alone the same state. This included many a dorky photo taken. As my niece, Camryn (age 6), said..."WOW, that is a LOT of pictures in the same setting." It's funny how many pictures you can take that look almost identical to everyone else in the world and yet you personally love each individual one. It must just be the fact that each individual picture is one more moment you got to spend with one of your closest friends.

Man, there are so many reasons why I love this girl. I think some of my all-time favorites is the fact that she is so much fun and bursting with personality (something I'm particularly drawn to in friends). She's also always so kind and giving and doing such nice things for people. Also, did i mention her blogging skills are amazing??? Oh wait, I think I did. But still...she does so many fun things on hers like "best friend fridays", and other things I am very tempted to copy. Its great.

Really, she is the coolest.

Fail Blog

2009-08-04T00:58:00.000-06:00

So, don't let the title of this post deceive you. This isn't about the "Fail Blog" (which by the way, is hilarious!) but it is actually about the fact that as a blogger, I totally fail. I've attempted to start blogs before and I usually only get to the first one or two posts before I quit (once I didn't even get past the title. pathetic, i know.). I think this happens for a couple reasons:

1.)I am retarded and can't figure out how to work this whole blog thing. I seriously spent almost an hour tonight just trying to figure out how to get myself a new background. I think i need to buckle down and have some blogging lessons from an expert like my bff, Siovhan.

2.) I totally suffer from perfectionism. This topic itself could easily take up an entire blog post. I always begin posts but then never actually put them up because i want them to be perfect. I want my thoughts to be profound or witty. I want everything to eloquently articulated...and (last but not least!) i want the layout to be cute. :) This of course, causes a simple blog post to become a very daunting prospect.

Result: zero blog posts.

Well, ladies and gentlemen...I here dedicate myself to change. I will become a successful blogger if it kills me! And to do this, I've gotta rid myself of this perfectionism. No more worrying about if what I write is profound. No more worrying about spelling or grammar errors. I don't really even care if what I say makes sense. And I DEFINITELY need to stop worrying about getting all my thoughts out. Usually I don't want to post anything until I have completely covered ALL my thoughts on a subject...well, to be honest, that is a lot of thoughts and usually takes way too much time. Even if I can't write everything I think or feel about something, I'm still gonna post what I do have time to write.

No. More. Perfectionism.

So, in honor of my decision to post more regularly and with less worry or anxiety, tonight I am not even going to proof read or analyze what I have written here before I post it. Yes, it's true...this is not even close to my best writing or what I am capable of....but that's o.k. This doesn't have to be my best writing. It's just silly random thoughts. It's just a blog.

The End of a Day and the Start of a Blog.

2009-07-08T22:45:00.000-06:00

Tonight, I am starting this blog as the ending to a very excellent day. Well, to be honest, nothing today was super spectacular and I hardly even saw another human being…but it was really productive which usually for me equates to feeling pretty darn good about my life.

I started the day by going into work at 9:00am. I was pretty exhausted, so I ended up only working till 2:00pm, but it was still a good 5 hours of work. Afterward, I went home and relaxed a little and caught up with some friends via the internet, which made me realize I really need to hang out with my friends more and talk to those friends who are not in close enough distance to hang out with.

Next came my attack on the kitchen. Unfortunately, my roommates and I have let our kitchen get a bit out of control lately so it was pretty dang nasty with absolutely no clean dishes. But no more! Our kitchen will no longer be neglected! After loading the dishwasher and setting a ton of dishes out to soak, I went upstairs to clean my room—another thing that has gotten a bit out of control as of late.

Well, I am glad to report that I made excellent progress on my room, getting a lot of things sorted through and organized. After a couple hours of that, I went back down stairs to cook myself some whole wheat pasta and corn for dinner. While the pasta was cooking, I emptied the dishwasher and started the second load. The pasta was pretty good and after I was done cleaning it up, I baked some homemade banana bread to take to work tomorrow. But the productivity did not end there, my friends…no, no, no, no. While the bread was in the oven I continued on with my tasks and DID MY LAUNDRY. A-MAZ-ING, I know. You’re probably asking yourself how in the world I managed to do so many productive things today? Answer: I don’t know. I guess it’s just a gift.

I hope you all know I was being facetious just then. Anyone who knows me well knows that being productive is one of the biggest things that I struggle with and is definitely not a gift…which makes today pretty much a fluke. Anyway, I should be in bed right now but I am waiting to take my laundry out of the dryer. So…in an effort to continue today’s pattern of goodness and productivity, I decided I should spend this time to start a blog (something I have wanted to do for quite a while now). I’ve tried it before in the past and haven’t been too successful (…which, by the way, I think I’ve figured out why! maybe I’ll write about it in a later blog post). Either way, I am DETERMINED to make this one be a success….and by “success” I mean actually write in it.

Well, I think it’s about time to get my laundry and go to bed now. I am picking my BFF (Hilary) up at 6:10am tomorrow and should probably get some sleep before then. We are going to go to the temple to do baptisms before work. I’m pretty excited! I’ve been going to the temple pretty regularly now and I really like it. Anyway, I’m off! Adios.